Sociopaths
_ There are people in the world who don't care about love, and who feel no remorse, empathy or emotional attachment to others. They don't even know what these feeling are. These people are called sociopaths.
Sociopaths feel no remorse, guilt, empathy, compassion or love. Their emotions are shallow, their relationships loveless and one-sided, and they have no interest in bonding emotionally with anyone.
One in 25 people fall under the classic definition of a sociopath. In other words 4% of people possess no conscience at all. Sociopaths can do whatever they want because they are not limited by social rules and never burdened by feelings of guilt, sadness, ethics or accountability. No inner voice makes them feel immoral, unethical, neglectful, or selfish. As such sociopaths can do absolutely anything they want.
To quote Martha Stout in The Sociopath Next Door:
“It is not that this group fails to grasp the difference between good and bad; it is that the distinction fails to limit their behavior…. Without the slightest blip of guilt or remorse, one in twenty-five people can do anything at all.
The high incidence of sociopathy in human society has a profound effect on the rest of us who must live on this planet too… The individuals who constitute this 4% drain our relationships, our banks accounts, our accomplishments, our self esteem, our very peace on earth."
Typically we think of sociopaths as axe wielding murderers, but most have no blood lust whatsoever. Sociopaths are motivated by the desire to dominate, and will do whatever it takes to achieve that. Depending on their intellectual abilities, they will achieve domination in one of a number of ways. Some will become successful leaders of companies or countries, others will seduce and con lovers out of life savings, some will indulge in verbal abuse or other forms of humiliation and psychological torture, all will lie pathologically, and only a few will be sadistic or physically violent...
Sociopaths do have emotions, but these are limited to anger and frustration at not getting what they want, and to boredom after they have got what they want. Sociopaths will never experience the human bonds generated by love, compassion, family and friends. They are sad, isolated creatures, removed from the joys of life. To a sociopath, every human being is prey, not a potential lover, friend, colleague, or soul mate. Sociopaths are not happy. Even after they get what they want, they hunger for more. And more and more and more. In the end, those who do not end up in jail or committing suicide because of boredom, die lonely, unloved and bored to death.
Quoting Martha Stout:
“People without conscience experience emotions very differently from you and me, and they do not experience love at all, or any other kind of positive attachment to their fellow human beings. This deficit, which is hard to even ponder, reduces life to an endless game of attempted domination over other people.”
Sociopaths feel no remorse, guilt, empathy, compassion or love. Their emotions are shallow, their relationships loveless and one-sided, and they have no interest in bonding emotionally with anyone.
One in 25 people fall under the classic definition of a sociopath. In other words 4% of people possess no conscience at all. Sociopaths can do whatever they want because they are not limited by social rules and never burdened by feelings of guilt, sadness, ethics or accountability. No inner voice makes them feel immoral, unethical, neglectful, or selfish. As such sociopaths can do absolutely anything they want.
To quote Martha Stout in The Sociopath Next Door:
“It is not that this group fails to grasp the difference between good and bad; it is that the distinction fails to limit their behavior…. Without the slightest blip of guilt or remorse, one in twenty-five people can do anything at all.
The high incidence of sociopathy in human society has a profound effect on the rest of us who must live on this planet too… The individuals who constitute this 4% drain our relationships, our banks accounts, our accomplishments, our self esteem, our very peace on earth."
Typically we think of sociopaths as axe wielding murderers, but most have no blood lust whatsoever. Sociopaths are motivated by the desire to dominate, and will do whatever it takes to achieve that. Depending on their intellectual abilities, they will achieve domination in one of a number of ways. Some will become successful leaders of companies or countries, others will seduce and con lovers out of life savings, some will indulge in verbal abuse or other forms of humiliation and psychological torture, all will lie pathologically, and only a few will be sadistic or physically violent...
Sociopaths do have emotions, but these are limited to anger and frustration at not getting what they want, and to boredom after they have got what they want. Sociopaths will never experience the human bonds generated by love, compassion, family and friends. They are sad, isolated creatures, removed from the joys of life. To a sociopath, every human being is prey, not a potential lover, friend, colleague, or soul mate. Sociopaths are not happy. Even after they get what they want, they hunger for more. And more and more and more. In the end, those who do not end up in jail or committing suicide because of boredom, die lonely, unloved and bored to death.
Quoting Martha Stout:
“People without conscience experience emotions very differently from you and me, and they do not experience love at all, or any other kind of positive attachment to their fellow human beings. This deficit, which is hard to even ponder, reduces life to an endless game of attempted domination over other people.”
What makes a sociopath?
Some doctors call them sociopaths, others refer to them as psychopaths. Either way, the terms are used to describe individuals who have a range of personality disorders.
These people are NOT certifiably mentally ill; they are biological carriers of socially and personally problematic traits. Such traits may have been manifested from childhood in acts of cruelty to animals, property or people. These characteristics can disrupt relationships, create financial and emotional crises, and, at their worst, lead the person to callously undertake acts of vandalism, theft, rape or murder. Being aware what constitutes a sociopath can help one resist their charm and the errors inherent in establishing a life with them.
Sociopaths know exactly what they are doing, and most of them never kill anyone. But they are social predators who exploit just about everyone they meet. They have no heart, no conscience and no remorse.
You can’t ‘cure’ a sociopath or help them to see the error of their ways. They can’t see the world as we do, and the only thing you can do, is save yourself and walk away.
So how do we spot a sociopath? The answer is, with difficulty, a lot of life experience and a big dose of intuition. Sociopaths have impressive social skills, thereby making them extremely hard to spot. Your typical sociopaths are not ice-cold, socially awkward outcasts, rather they can be charming, funny and exciting. The sociopaths' greatest weapon is the ability to seduce victims by winning over their pity. By eliciting pity in morally normal individuals, sociopaths can get pretty much anything they want. This is why con artists are so successful at seducing their prey into handing over their life savings.
_
You can, however, start with one hard and fast rule: if a person’s story doesn’t stack up, there’s usually a reason for that, which at best is that they are hiding something.
Dr. Robert Hare, Emeritus Professor of Psychology at University of British Columbia, President of Darkstone Research Group Ltd., and author of Psychopathy: Theory and Research (1970) and Without Conscience: The Disturbing World of the Psychopaths Among Us (1993, reissued 1999), has developed the Psychopathy Checklist (PCL-R) for the reliable and valid assessment of psychopathy. This checklist has been hailed as among the most accurate instrument available for risk for violence. Since the American diagnostic system relies primarily on criteria for Antisocial Personality Disorder, which overlaps but does not define the same population as that measured by the PCL-R, Dr. Hare plays an important role in the history of an evolving concept—one which has an impact on society's welfare.
Dr. Robert Hare's Psychopathic Checklist (PCL-R) for Sociopathic Traits
1. GLIB and SUPERFICIAL CHARM - smooth, engaging, charming, slick, and verbally facile. Sociopathic charm is not in the least shy, self-conscious, or afraid to say anything. A sociopath never gets tongue-tied. They have freed themselves from the social conventions about taking turns in talking, for example.
2. GRANDIOSE SELF-WORTH - a grossly inflated view of one's abilities and self-worth, self-assured, opinionated, cocky, a braggart. Sociopaths are arrogant people who believe they are superior human beings.
3. NEED FOR STIMULATION or PRONENESS TO BOREDOM - an excessive need for novel, thrilling, and exciting stimulation; taking chances and doing things that are risky. Sociopaths often have low self-discipline in carrying tasks through to completion because they get bored easily. They fail to work at the same job for any length of time, for example, or to finish tasks that they consider dull or routine.
4. PATHOLOGICAL LYING - can be moderate or high; in moderate form, they will be shrewd, crafty, cunning, sly, and clever; in extreme form, they will be deceptive, deceitful, underhanded, unscrupulous, manipulative, and dishonest.
5. CONNING AND MANIPULATIVENESS - the use of deceit and deception to cheat, con, or defraud others for personal gain; distinguished from Item #4 in the degree to which exploitation and callous ruthlessness is present, as reflected in a lack of concern for the feelings and suffering of one's victims.
6. LACK OF REMORSE OR GUILT - a lack of feelings or concern for the losses, pain, and suffering of victims; a tendency to be unconcerned, dispassionate, coldhearted, and un empathic. This item is usually demonstrated by a disdain for one's victims.
7. SHALLOW AFFECT - emotional poverty or a limited range or depth of feelings; interpersonal coldness in spite of signs of open gregariousness.
8. CALLOUSNESS and LACK OF EMPATHY - a lack of feelings toward people in general; cold, contemptuous, inconsiderate, and tactless.
9. PARASITIC LIFESTYLE - an intentional, manipulative, selfish, and exploitative financial dependence on others as reflected in a lack of motivation, low self-discipline, and inability to begin or complete responsibilities.
10. POOR BEHAVIORAL CONTROLS - expressions of irritability, annoyance, impatience, threats, aggression, and verbal abuse; inadequate control of anger and temper; acting hastily.
11. PROMISCUOUS SEXUAL BEHAVIOR - a variety of brief, superficial relations, numerous affairs, and an indiscriminate selection of sexual partners; the maintenance of several relationships at the same time; a history of attempts to sexually coerce others into sexual activity or taking great pride at discussing sexual exploits or conquests.
12. EARLY BEHAVIOR PROBLEMS - a variety of behaviors prior to age 13, including lying, theft, cheating, vandalism, bullying, sexual activity, fire-setting, glue-sniffing, alcohol use, and running away from home.
13. LACK OF REALISTIC, LONG-TERM GOALS - an inability or persistent failure to develop and execute long-term plans and goals; a nomadic existence, aimless, lacking direction in life.
14. IMPULSIVITY - the occurrence of behaviors that are unpremeditated and lack reflection or planning; inability to resist temptation, frustrations, and urges; a lack of deliberation without considering the consequences; foolhardy, rash, unpredictable, erratic, and reckless.
15. IRRESPONSIBILITY - repeated failure to fulfill or honor obligations and commitments; such as not paying bills, defaulting on loans, performing sloppy work, being absent or late to work, failing to honor contractual agreements.
16. FAILURE TO ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY FOR OWN ACTIONS - a failure to accept responsibility for one's actions reflected in low conscientiousness, an absence of dutifulness, antagonistic manipulation, denial of responsibility, and an effort to manipulate others through this denial.
17. MANY SHORT-TERM MARITAL RELATIONSHIPS - a lack of commitment to a long-term relationship reflected in inconsistent, undependable, and unreliable commitments in life, including marital.
18. JUVENILE DELINQUENCY - behavior problems between the ages of 13-18; mostly behaviors that are crimes or clearly involve aspects of antagonism, exploitation, aggression, manipulation, or a callous, ruthless tough-mindedness.
19. REVOCATION OF CONDITION RELEASE - a revocation of probation or other conditional release due to technical violations, such as carelessness, low deliberation, or failing to appear.
20. CRIMINAL VERSATILITY - a diversity of types of criminal offenses, regardless if the person has been arrested or convicted for them; taking great pride at getting away with crimes.
The PCL-R is used for psycho-diagnostic purposes and only by clinician, who possess an advanced degree in the social, medical, or behavioral sciences, such as a Ph.D., D.Ed. or M.D., are registered with the local state or provincial registration body that regulates the assessment and diagnosis of mental disorder, have experience with forensic populations, and have adequate training and experience in the use of the PCL-R.
What To Do If You Encounter A Sociopath Or Have One Already In Your Life
There is only one thing you can do. Get away! Sociopaths cannot be cured, rehabilitated or loved back to life. These are soulless individuals, and the only way to defend against them is to stay well away. So if you encounter a sociopath, do not try to reason with them, get them to see how they've wronged you or plead to their sense of decency. Remember, sociopaths have no conscience or sense of duty, so any action on your part to try to change them is a pure waste of energy.
Run for your life!
Difference Between A Sociopath And A Narcissist
Both the narcissist and sociopath lack remorse and conscience, and both are driven by the need to dominate and control others.
The main difference between the two is that the narcissist desperately needs others to validate him, while the sociopath doesn't care what others think of him. The narcissist has a terribly fragile ego and absolutely no sense of self, and needs others to prop him up by worshiping and admiring him at all times. He needs this admiration like the rest of us need air, and will surround himself only by persons who are prepared to continually revere him and agree with everything he says.
The narcissist also possesses a sense of entitlement that means he not only needs, but demands to be idealized by others. If you do not revere him, he will lash out at you. If you do not agree with him, he will retaliate against you. As with the sociopath, the narcissist has no moral code or conscience, but he will exploit only those who pose a threat to him. His remaining victims, the ones who stroke his ego, are vital to his sense of self, so would be spared. Without those people in his life worshiping and reassuring him, he would crumble.
The narcissist feels nothing but contempt and jealousy towards others, especially those who pose a threat to his sense of self (usually by not worshiping him). Anyone perceived as a threat must be swiftly removed from his court.
Both narcissists and sociopaths view others as objects, but the narcissist is limited by his reliance on others to stroke his fragile ego and feed his insatiable need for validation. Without constant reassurance from others, the narcissist feels dead inside, and so invests all his energy into ensuring that others validate his fragile ego. He lives in a frantic state of paranoia that he will be exposed at any minute, and, consumed with avoiding this inevitable disaster, has little energy to be genuinely interested in others.
These people are NOT certifiably mentally ill; they are biological carriers of socially and personally problematic traits. Such traits may have been manifested from childhood in acts of cruelty to animals, property or people. These characteristics can disrupt relationships, create financial and emotional crises, and, at their worst, lead the person to callously undertake acts of vandalism, theft, rape or murder. Being aware what constitutes a sociopath can help one resist their charm and the errors inherent in establishing a life with them.
Sociopaths know exactly what they are doing, and most of them never kill anyone. But they are social predators who exploit just about everyone they meet. They have no heart, no conscience and no remorse.
You can’t ‘cure’ a sociopath or help them to see the error of their ways. They can’t see the world as we do, and the only thing you can do, is save yourself and walk away.
So how do we spot a sociopath? The answer is, with difficulty, a lot of life experience and a big dose of intuition. Sociopaths have impressive social skills, thereby making them extremely hard to spot. Your typical sociopaths are not ice-cold, socially awkward outcasts, rather they can be charming, funny and exciting. The sociopaths' greatest weapon is the ability to seduce victims by winning over their pity. By eliciting pity in morally normal individuals, sociopaths can get pretty much anything they want. This is why con artists are so successful at seducing their prey into handing over their life savings.
_
You can, however, start with one hard and fast rule: if a person’s story doesn’t stack up, there’s usually a reason for that, which at best is that they are hiding something.
Dr. Robert Hare, Emeritus Professor of Psychology at University of British Columbia, President of Darkstone Research Group Ltd., and author of Psychopathy: Theory and Research (1970) and Without Conscience: The Disturbing World of the Psychopaths Among Us (1993, reissued 1999), has developed the Psychopathy Checklist (PCL-R) for the reliable and valid assessment of psychopathy. This checklist has been hailed as among the most accurate instrument available for risk for violence. Since the American diagnostic system relies primarily on criteria for Antisocial Personality Disorder, which overlaps but does not define the same population as that measured by the PCL-R, Dr. Hare plays an important role in the history of an evolving concept—one which has an impact on society's welfare.
Dr. Robert Hare's Psychopathic Checklist (PCL-R) for Sociopathic Traits
1. GLIB and SUPERFICIAL CHARM - smooth, engaging, charming, slick, and verbally facile. Sociopathic charm is not in the least shy, self-conscious, or afraid to say anything. A sociopath never gets tongue-tied. They have freed themselves from the social conventions about taking turns in talking, for example.
2. GRANDIOSE SELF-WORTH - a grossly inflated view of one's abilities and self-worth, self-assured, opinionated, cocky, a braggart. Sociopaths are arrogant people who believe they are superior human beings.
3. NEED FOR STIMULATION or PRONENESS TO BOREDOM - an excessive need for novel, thrilling, and exciting stimulation; taking chances and doing things that are risky. Sociopaths often have low self-discipline in carrying tasks through to completion because they get bored easily. They fail to work at the same job for any length of time, for example, or to finish tasks that they consider dull or routine.
4. PATHOLOGICAL LYING - can be moderate or high; in moderate form, they will be shrewd, crafty, cunning, sly, and clever; in extreme form, they will be deceptive, deceitful, underhanded, unscrupulous, manipulative, and dishonest.
5. CONNING AND MANIPULATIVENESS - the use of deceit and deception to cheat, con, or defraud others for personal gain; distinguished from Item #4 in the degree to which exploitation and callous ruthlessness is present, as reflected in a lack of concern for the feelings and suffering of one's victims.
6. LACK OF REMORSE OR GUILT - a lack of feelings or concern for the losses, pain, and suffering of victims; a tendency to be unconcerned, dispassionate, coldhearted, and un empathic. This item is usually demonstrated by a disdain for one's victims.
7. SHALLOW AFFECT - emotional poverty or a limited range or depth of feelings; interpersonal coldness in spite of signs of open gregariousness.
8. CALLOUSNESS and LACK OF EMPATHY - a lack of feelings toward people in general; cold, contemptuous, inconsiderate, and tactless.
9. PARASITIC LIFESTYLE - an intentional, manipulative, selfish, and exploitative financial dependence on others as reflected in a lack of motivation, low self-discipline, and inability to begin or complete responsibilities.
10. POOR BEHAVIORAL CONTROLS - expressions of irritability, annoyance, impatience, threats, aggression, and verbal abuse; inadequate control of anger and temper; acting hastily.
11. PROMISCUOUS SEXUAL BEHAVIOR - a variety of brief, superficial relations, numerous affairs, and an indiscriminate selection of sexual partners; the maintenance of several relationships at the same time; a history of attempts to sexually coerce others into sexual activity or taking great pride at discussing sexual exploits or conquests.
12. EARLY BEHAVIOR PROBLEMS - a variety of behaviors prior to age 13, including lying, theft, cheating, vandalism, bullying, sexual activity, fire-setting, glue-sniffing, alcohol use, and running away from home.
13. LACK OF REALISTIC, LONG-TERM GOALS - an inability or persistent failure to develop and execute long-term plans and goals; a nomadic existence, aimless, lacking direction in life.
14. IMPULSIVITY - the occurrence of behaviors that are unpremeditated and lack reflection or planning; inability to resist temptation, frustrations, and urges; a lack of deliberation without considering the consequences; foolhardy, rash, unpredictable, erratic, and reckless.
15. IRRESPONSIBILITY - repeated failure to fulfill or honor obligations and commitments; such as not paying bills, defaulting on loans, performing sloppy work, being absent or late to work, failing to honor contractual agreements.
16. FAILURE TO ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY FOR OWN ACTIONS - a failure to accept responsibility for one's actions reflected in low conscientiousness, an absence of dutifulness, antagonistic manipulation, denial of responsibility, and an effort to manipulate others through this denial.
17. MANY SHORT-TERM MARITAL RELATIONSHIPS - a lack of commitment to a long-term relationship reflected in inconsistent, undependable, and unreliable commitments in life, including marital.
18. JUVENILE DELINQUENCY - behavior problems between the ages of 13-18; mostly behaviors that are crimes or clearly involve aspects of antagonism, exploitation, aggression, manipulation, or a callous, ruthless tough-mindedness.
19. REVOCATION OF CONDITION RELEASE - a revocation of probation or other conditional release due to technical violations, such as carelessness, low deliberation, or failing to appear.
20. CRIMINAL VERSATILITY - a diversity of types of criminal offenses, regardless if the person has been arrested or convicted for them; taking great pride at getting away with crimes.
The PCL-R is used for psycho-diagnostic purposes and only by clinician, who possess an advanced degree in the social, medical, or behavioral sciences, such as a Ph.D., D.Ed. or M.D., are registered with the local state or provincial registration body that regulates the assessment and diagnosis of mental disorder, have experience with forensic populations, and have adequate training and experience in the use of the PCL-R.
What To Do If You Encounter A Sociopath Or Have One Already In Your Life
There is only one thing you can do. Get away! Sociopaths cannot be cured, rehabilitated or loved back to life. These are soulless individuals, and the only way to defend against them is to stay well away. So if you encounter a sociopath, do not try to reason with them, get them to see how they've wronged you or plead to their sense of decency. Remember, sociopaths have no conscience or sense of duty, so any action on your part to try to change them is a pure waste of energy.
Run for your life!
Difference Between A Sociopath And A Narcissist
Both the narcissist and sociopath lack remorse and conscience, and both are driven by the need to dominate and control others.
The main difference between the two is that the narcissist desperately needs others to validate him, while the sociopath doesn't care what others think of him. The narcissist has a terribly fragile ego and absolutely no sense of self, and needs others to prop him up by worshiping and admiring him at all times. He needs this admiration like the rest of us need air, and will surround himself only by persons who are prepared to continually revere him and agree with everything he says.
The narcissist also possesses a sense of entitlement that means he not only needs, but demands to be idealized by others. If you do not revere him, he will lash out at you. If you do not agree with him, he will retaliate against you. As with the sociopath, the narcissist has no moral code or conscience, but he will exploit only those who pose a threat to him. His remaining victims, the ones who stroke his ego, are vital to his sense of self, so would be spared. Without those people in his life worshiping and reassuring him, he would crumble.
The narcissist feels nothing but contempt and jealousy towards others, especially those who pose a threat to his sense of self (usually by not worshiping him). Anyone perceived as a threat must be swiftly removed from his court.
Both narcissists and sociopaths view others as objects, but the narcissist is limited by his reliance on others to stroke his fragile ego and feed his insatiable need for validation. Without constant reassurance from others, the narcissist feels dead inside, and so invests all his energy into ensuring that others validate his fragile ego. He lives in a frantic state of paranoia that he will be exposed at any minute, and, consumed with avoiding this inevitable disaster, has little energy to be genuinely interested in others.
Are You Dating a Sociopath.mov | |
File Size: | 82989 kb |
File Type: | mov |
Signs that you are Dating a Sociopath.mov | |
File Size: | 72569 kb |
File Type: | mov |
According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders IV (DSM-IV) of the American Psychiatric Association, the clinical diagnosis of antisocial personality disorder is as follows:
1) Failure to conform to social norms
2) Deceitfulness, manipulativeness
3) Impulsivity, failure to plan ahead
4) Irritability, aggressiveness
5) Reckless disregard for the safety of self or others
6) Consistent irresponsibility
7) Lack of remorse after having hurt, mistreated or stolen from another person
Any three of these symptoms taken together is sufficient for a diagnosis of antisocial personality disorder.
2) Deceitfulness, manipulativeness
3) Impulsivity, failure to plan ahead
4) Irritability, aggressiveness
5) Reckless disregard for the safety of self or others
6) Consistent irresponsibility
7) Lack of remorse after having hurt, mistreated or stolen from another person
Any three of these symptoms taken together is sufficient for a diagnosis of antisocial personality disorder.
Useful Links
The sociopath Next Door by Martha Stout. A thorough examination of what it means to be a sociopathDangerous Instincts: Use an FBI Profiler's Tactics to Avoid Unsafe Situations
Love Fraud. One woman's tragic story about dating a sociopath The Sociopathic style by Marion TrentDr R Hare, creator of the Psychopathic checklist
Gauging psychopathia
Sociopath Blogs
Sociopath World
LoveFraud
Best Literary Blogs
Frogen Yozurt: A great resource for tips on writing and blogging, and also great articles that expose scams
Independent Writers: Great community for Writers
Indiscriminate Writes: Author of Frayed, A Midison Lark Novella
BookNerd: Author interviews and book reviews
We Do Write: Author interviews
Linda Rae, author's blog
The sociopath Next Door by Martha Stout. A thorough examination of what it means to be a sociopathDangerous Instincts: Use an FBI Profiler's Tactics to Avoid Unsafe Situations
Love Fraud. One woman's tragic story about dating a sociopath The Sociopathic style by Marion TrentDr R Hare, creator of the Psychopathic checklist
Gauging psychopathia
Sociopath Blogs
Sociopath World
LoveFraud
Best Literary Blogs
Frogen Yozurt: A great resource for tips on writing and blogging, and also great articles that expose scams
Independent Writers: Great community for Writers
Indiscriminate Writes: Author of Frayed, A Midison Lark Novella
BookNerd: Author interviews and book reviews
We Do Write: Author interviews
Linda Rae, author's blog